My definition of Success

October 13, 2010 at 7:00 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The other day I was thinking about how crazy it is that the kids are already a year old. I also realized that I have officially been a stay at home mom for a year. I still feel new at this; it is very strange for me not to think of being a stay at home mom as a “new” job. It’s funny how different I thought being a stay at home mom would be. I imagined that my house would be clean and totally organized, I would be making dinner every night and trying new recipes all the time. I imagined that I would be somewhat relaxed by the time Jason got home and wouldn’t mind if he didn’t really help much in the evenings. I also imagined that Jason and I would still find time to spend just the two of us and do fun things. I’m sure everyone who is reading this who has stayed home with their kids is laughing at me right now.  Where on earth did I ever get this idea?

In reality being a stay at home mom is nothing like I imagined. I love my kids and feel very blessed that I get to stay at home with them but it is hard work. Getting stuff done around the house is a struggle because it is almost impossible to do stuff with the kids around, I do cook most nights but not exciting or new things but stuff like tacos and spaghetti maybe even a hot dog or two. I’m lucky if I get to shower, put on make-up and get dressed and by the time Jason gets home I am pretty worn out.  Being the great husband that he is Jason helps me feed, bathe, and play with the kids until it is time for them to go to bed. I love my job and being with my kids all day, but I find myself constantly wishing there were more hours in the day. I feel like I have never done enough. If I spend too much time cleaning I feel guilty that I didn’t sit on the floor and play with the kids enough, if I spend my whole day playing with the kids then I feel guilty we are eating sandwiches for dinner and I know that I never have enough time with Jason.

When I was thinking about all of this I realized that maybe my definition of success needed to change. My definition seemed to be having a clean house, home cooked dinner and everything together all the time …which is just crazy. In reality that stuff doesn’t matter at all. What really matters is if my kids are happy and well-adjusted, if my husband is happy and we have time as a family.  I decided that maybe it doesn’t matter if my house isn’t clean or the laundry gets a little behind. What really matters is that Jack and I got to play peek a boo today or that I taught Leah where her nose is. My kids and my husband will benefit much more from having a happy and relaxed mom and wife than they would with a perfect house and gourmet meals. My new goal is to work on remembering what is really important and maybe relax a little. After all I will only have a few years with my kids at home all day and I should try to enjoy it as much as I can.

Advertisements

Leave a Comment »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: